so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
