I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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