i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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