my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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