My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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