wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
