Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
