I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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