my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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