Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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