haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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