your room smells of hookers.
And success
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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