I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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