and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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