I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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