I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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