did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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