Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
