i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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