I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
