Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
