Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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