I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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