just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
