I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish I only lived at night.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize