how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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