we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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