In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
