Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
