pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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