So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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