I met the friendliest cop last night
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
