I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
