check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
