I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
