Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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