I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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