Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize