"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
