I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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