Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
