sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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