as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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