We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
honey bunches of taint.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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