ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I enjoy the company of your penis
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
