she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
