i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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