Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
