I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
