he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
