Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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