At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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