Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
