is your mom at the bar?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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