I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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