Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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