i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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