my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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