Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize