if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
