peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
God, I missed his penis.
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