I'm so fucking centered right now
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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