The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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