I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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