I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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