So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
