My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
