my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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