what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My vagina just recognized that song.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
