So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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