woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
